Trust, respect, and confidence. Three character attributes to which I and others should aspire. To earn these requires time. However, when we have demonstrated ourselves to be worthy of achieving each of these attributes through a consistent, principled lifestyle, the trust is likely to be long-lasting.
Similarly, albeit short-lived, trust and respect can be positional. That is, others can trust and respect you simply because a position, by protocol, includes these attributes. Examples include teachers, the Office of the President, coaches, and parents, among others.
The significant difference between earned and positional trust and respect is the scope, depth, and duration of the trust and respect. When earned, trust and respect can be deep and lasting. However, the same is not necessarily true regarding position. The accompanying trust and respect might only be superficial and short-lived.
Can the person in a position violate the trust that accompanies the positional trust? Indeed, that has happened in various instances. Were there indicators of misplaced trust such that the violation could have been prevented if meaningful trust and respect had been earned? I believe the possibility exists. While I will not make a conscious attempt to influence the court of public opinion, I would like to appeal for more meaningful relationships with one another.
Do you feel a sense of community in the place where you live? While we do in some circles, I am not convinced we have a genuine, comprehensive unity of community throughout. That requires time and a particular intention to achieve that end. Developing a meaningful sense of community means communicating in a way that fosters connection.
Said another way, we can converse without necessarily conveying meaning. Furthermore, we can communicate without needing to be physically connected. It is when we connect that the most meaningful communication occurs. Being able to communicate with another person freely requires total respect, along with the confidence that whatever I divulge in vulnerability will not be held against me, so that I am not made a target of gossip where my character could be impugned.
Connection occurs when we earn the trust and respect of others, allowing us to be vulnerable with each other. We all have weaknesses and limitations. While acknowledging those, no one wants someone else to exploit those areas in an attempt to denigrate me to gain favor or position over me. Genuine fellowship, sharing of ideas, and meaningful dialogue accompany connected relationships.
Like many of us, we are becoming increasingly reliant on technology for communication. While the technology can be good, we are increasingly becoming faceless and voiceless through this means of communication. This often manifests as superficial relationships, such as “friends” with whom we have never met. While I strongly support multiple methods of communication, my appeal is to foster genuine relationships through trusted and open communication. That takes time and a willingness to be vulnerable, allowing others to know who we are. We need to look introspectively to determine if we are willing to be vulnerable enough to “expose” our inner feelings to others. This includes having a very comfortable self-awareness and self-image, allowing us to be confident in knowing exactly who we are. This is an area of more in-depth discussion for another time.
We have insidiously reached the current state of relationships over decades. Therefore, restoring/establishing a sense of community will take possibly an equal amount of time. It will require a change in mindset. Doing that will require us to be intentional about making this sort of change. Is it worth the effort? I think it is.
Let’s work together toward what I believe is the greater good of our community — having a genuine sense of community through meaningful trust, respect, and confidence in each other.
This will require a total community effort. However, it can start with just one person. Let’s go and grow together.
What do you think? Does your community have unity? If not, what do you recommend doing to help achieve that end goal? If you do, let us know what you have and how you achieved that.
Let’s dialogue on this critical topic. I am very interested in hearing your thoughts on this topic. Let’s talk and see if we can start a movement that will have lasting, positive impacts.
Contact us for more information at ron@thecooperculture.com.
